It takes a whole village to raise a child. But that village should never be my home. I’m sure as Africans we have at one point or the other we’ve felt that our homes have turned into villages. When we have #ThatOneHama (relative) or #ThoseHamas (relatives) that has/have overstayed their welcome.
My Top 10 African Home rules are as follows;
1). DO NOT LEAVE PARCELS IN MY HOME!!
I live in Harare, Zimbabwe and water is a major issue. This has resulted in me having to buy water therefore my water usage is very conservative. How dare someone come and mess up the balance in my home and stink up my place? Please help me understand what would be going through someone’s mind when they decided that, “Oh hey, let me go and drop a duce at Linda’s” HOW!?! HOW!?! HOW!?! Respect my water and my nostrils and may you kindly not leave parcels in my home!!
2). CALL ME FIRST
If you do not call me first and just show up at my door rest assured I play a strong game of HANDIPO (I’m not in). I will ignore your knocks and even if you app telling me that you can hear that I’m home. I will not open the door. Be a decent human being and call me first.
3). YOU EAT WHAT I EAT
If one has an expensive palate unfortunately my home is not the place. I will not break bank trying to feed you beyond my means. If you are family or a true friend you understand my entrepreneurial journey. I’ll actually be looking at you and hoping YOU have brought me some good groceries other than that 2 minute noodles save lives!!
4). I AM THE DR AMAI, THE QUEEN BEE OF MY HOME.
My home is not a democratic place. It’s a kingdom and I REIGN!
5). VANA VANGU HAVABE -(My mother’s saying)
My mother used to make this announcement to ALL visitors that in her household she didn’t have things or money that just goes missing because us her children were not theives. So if a visitor had klepto tendencies they would immediately know that this isn’t the place they could get away with such a crime.
I’m a pretty easy going girl so handina hangu mitemo inegumi (10 commandments). So hopefully you’ll be visiting me soon.😉
The Zimbabwean BusinessWoman
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